avia: A person in a plague doctor mask (skull mask with a long bird beak), black and white image. (plague doctor)
warning: corrupt government/prison system, racism, murder, death penalty )

warning: violence, nightmares, death )

I want to write more stories in the universe of the first one. Where Ideas are creatures, and they can be killed.

The second one was just a rambling thing. But I like it, in some way.

I've been working on a children's book project thing most of the day, but right now, I'm struggling with converting pdf to epub... when I have it worked out, I will talk more about it and offer downloads ^v^ It's going to be a paper book too (because it is a children's book, I think that a lot of people will want the paper version to let the child hold, or to read to them at night, it's not the same reading from a computer), so, I have the proof that will be mailed to me soon, so I can see if it looks okay... I really hope it looks okay. It did in the pdf, but, computer stuffs can be so much problems....
avia: Girl and boy couple, wearing headphones. The boy is looking at her but the girl is staring into the sky. (staring into world)
I finished The Wood Wife today. It's a very good book, and it does something that made me want to look up the author and read more books by her (I normally choose my books strongly by subject, it's rare that I choose by author because, subject matters so much to me)... it made me feel interested in a subject that I don't normally have interest in.

For me, "personal interests" are the centre of the universe. It is very hard to make me feel connected or moved or like I am doing anything important, with the subject is something I don't have interest in. It's part of being an autistic person, and, it's part of what can make socialising very difficult for me, as well as many things... if I am not doing something connected to my interests, I get bored, and bored feelings become pain, and that drains my energy very quickly. I'm not normally a person who just has fun "being social". It needs to be connected to something I am particularly interested in, or, I need to find a reason to feel interested. Sometimes, being with a person I like can be enough for that, but, it's a rare bond that creates it, and, that bond is also usually based on... interests!

So, to enjoy a book that is not on a personal interest subject, is definitely something that makes me feel I should read the author's other work.

Cut... some small spoilers, I try to keep it minimum )
avia: Text: "Wanted to explode, pull my ribs apart and let the sun inside" (wanted to explode)
I forgot, just how much I needed to read about winged people. I forgot how much it means to me, stories about people getting their wings, stories about people fighting so hard to keep their wings from being taken away. No, I didn't forget, in my mind, not like amnesia, but I forgot in my heart. I forgot what it feels like.

There is something, about that same story told in different ways... someone has wings, but people try to keep them from flying because it's "not polite", but they fly anyway... that always touches me, even if it's the same story heard a hundred times, a thousand. I could keep reading it. Because it's real.

It's a metaphor, a story about people who move different and act different and feel different and how, the world thinks it's "not polite" but we need it, we need it, and it's okay to embrace it. And it's a real story too, not metaphor, a story about how we need to fly and people tell us "that's stupid" and "people can't fly" and "you are not a bird" and "everyone is just human, live with it, deal with it" and your heart is crying no, no, and your body is reaching for the sky in every atom and every beat of blood and your soul feels like it is in chains, and every part of you is shattered glass because

You. Need. The. Sky.

Or the ocean, or the forest, or the desert, or the inside of your warm room. It can be anywhere. For me, it's the sky, liquid world of light, the only time I can be in a world so open and so much without shadows and not feel like I am falling apart, or maybe I do but it's okay, it's okay when it's the sky because the sky will hold me, if I fall apart the sky will keep me, I will fall apart but I will never fall.

And this knowledge, that the sky will keep me, hold me, love me, is always burning inside me, mixed with the knowledge that I need it need it need it, and so there is love and so there is pain and they both cut me and they both stretch me past my ability to hold it and my boundaries are breaking, I am just like a puff of air, I am being stretches so thin that I can't exist as a body any more and I

I fly.

I fly.
avia: A girl sitting and holding her knees, in an abandoned house grown over with green things. (green house)
I was thinking recently, because I'm reading The Wood Wife, about place, and stories, and magic/wonder.

The Wood Wife is a very... place-focused book. A lot of books are, Daughter of the Forest was too, the one I read just before it. Daughter of the Forest is a story that would not work without Ireland, and without Britain (before the first place was part of the second), and the cultural roots and atmosphere of those places. The Wood Wife is also a story that would not work without place, because it is all about the magic of the Arizona desert, how the desert hides wild and strange things and how it can transform a person.

Because of this, I find the book interesting, but, in a detached way... it makes me curious to learn about the magic of the desert, and difficult to feel close to the book, also. Those things come from the same place... I don't understand desert magic. It is not my natural place, it is not my way, it is not my home.

I realise that place makes a big difference for me, if I want to feel and experience the magic in a story. It's influence for me, even before I read a book, what kind of place I think that book is about. In fact, I was excited to read The Wood Wife because the title makes me think, it will be about woods, which exist usually in cold places, with a lot of rain. That's where I find spiritual comfort. I love stories that are about forests, or green hills, or mountains and cold, icy lands. I have never been to Ireland or Scotland, but I do enjoy stories that have an Irish or Scottish theme because, simply, I like trees and water and storms and rain. I need them, to be spiritual in my full detail.

I am a water bird and, in Hermetic tradition water is associated with darkness and shadow, and, I am also a shadow creature. I can't have the light on me all the time. I need shade and I need rain, and, I feel most magical with those things around me. I also wonder a little, if there is a truth to the idea of "roots" in a blood sense... I don't normally think about it, but, I wonder, this blood was made for a Japanese climate and spirituality and, I wonder if it really does make a difference. If there is a truth to the idea that your spirituality, or spiritual pull/strength, can be passed down in blood, in a way.

I live in the desert, so, I hope that The Wood Wife will teach me about how to appreciate the magic here. But I feel like the forests will always be spiritual home for me.
avia: Text: "Never love a wild thing." (never love a wild thing)

The time when you are just recovering from finishing a book (because, recovering is a good word, I think, this shaking in the heart, strange melancholy feeling), and all the world around you feels a little twilight, fae and magical... and your own words feel more strong, you feel like you can write poetry because there is poetry in your brain, and you feel powerful, and at the same time helpless, to the rush of grief.

I just finished Daughter of the Forest, by Juliet Marillier. A short review, or, emotional thoughts not really organised )
avia: (Default)
So... I don't know who knows the "Young Wizards" books by Diane Duane. But, in them, there is a very beautiful Wizard's Oath.

Cut for people who know it or don't want to be spoiled )

And, [personal profile] cereus posted recently, about a Saurian/Cat's Oath in later books (that I have not read yet):

Cut for people who know it or... etc. )

I wondered what a swan/bird Oath might be. So, I tried it....

Cut )


avia: (Default)
little swan child

May 2013

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