letters to the seasons

[avia]

Dear Spring:

You are very sweet. I like your showers and your baby birds. I always feel touched by the moment in April when everything is bright with pink and white blossoms, like fireworks, and then they all fall away so fast and you wonder, where did they go, where was that beauty.

You are good at 侘寂. The way you make beautiful things, that disappear so quickly, and leave your heart aching.


Dear Summer:

I am bad at appreciating you like I should, and it makes my heart hurt. I want to appreciate everything. I'm sorry I run from you. The intimacy you want with me is too intense.

But I like the way you paint the skies blue, I like the way you make the oceans warm so I can play in them. I like your evenings and your nights. I like the sound of crickets.

I wish I could dance with you more, but you dance too fast for me, and take all my energy. But I know that you have others who love you in the way that I can't.

I will try to understand you better. I'm really sorry.


Dear Autumn:

You are amazing! You are full of beautiful little things. You turn the sun down to a temperature I can cope with, but you still let it shine golden through the leaves, kissing them and making them burst into golden flame too. You make everything seem like it's made of honey, and caught in a beautiful moment between magic and sorrow.

You are the time between life and death. You are the days of wonder dawning, you are the veils between worlds falling. I love you, I love you, I love you.


Dear Winter:

You are the one I run to, when I can't run to anyone else. You are the one who makes me feel safe, the one I can hide in. Your burning cold touch reminds me of my past, and it's brutal but it's beautiful and it's what I need.

You are the one who reminds me of my heart. You are the one who accepts my heart, becsause when all the world is dying and I am dreaming of dying things, we fit together like pieces of an ancient puzzle, like a tiny girl kneeling at a forest shrine and suddenly realising she is part of an infinite world, and crying with joy.

I wish I could run away with you and bury my body in you until you breathed out my soul like a snowstorm, and I would be free to dance in the air, in your bare trees, on your mountain tops, across your frozen ponds. You have claimed such beautiful homes.

Thank you for being there for me.