The pilgrimage of swans
Sep. 14th, 2011 11:32 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
aviaA lot to write about, a lot to share. I had a very powerful and eventful trip with niya. She was kind enough to take me to San Francisco, so I could see the swans that I have a spiritual longing to be close to.
These are the stories that happened on that trip. Or, some of them. I'm sure I forget some, and, others are stories inside stories, that I will tell on my Tumblr under the writing tag. But this, this is the main story as I remember it.
Before the trip, we had Ace Prom withniya and Lea. (For the people who don't know what Ace Prom is, it was a Tumblr event where asexual, grey-sexual and demisexual people would do things for September 9th, with an asexual theme, and tag it with "ace prom" and post it on Tumblr. We are all some version of asexual or grey-sexual, so, we decided to have it.)
We decide that a fun thing to do for Ace Prom would be to make cake, because, cake is a joke in the asexual community. So, Lea made a lovely purple (symbol of asexuality) cake, that was purple inside and out! The rainbow sprinkles are for diversity. And texture. m(^Д^)
It tasted SO GOOD, too. I still have some in the fridge... I wonder if it is still good now....
We also decide that the crows in the park should be part of our prom, so, we went to feed them some cake, from the faeries. Even though we were sitting a far way away, they didn't want to come and eat when we were there, but, I hope they did enjoy it after we left.
On the next day, Niya and I took the drive to San Francisco, and chatted about Irish death ballads, transhumanism, kami, and many other things. The time went by so fast... I was really surprised, because, the drive is 7.5 hours (and, it ended up more like 9 because we did a lot of stops, and the power was out in some towns where we tried to eat and get gas), and normally, I would be so anti-social and grumpy after so much time... but, we were laughing and having fun the whole time. Usually, I only feel like that with Lea, where I just feel free to talk about completely anything and feel so socially relaxed. I have not spend a lot of time with Niya before and I didn't know how we would get along in person on such a long trip, she visited before but only for two days, but... it was wonderful, I really felt free. She's an amazing friend. ♥
She might be moving down here too... which would be nice, but, I can't believe she wants to leave the cool weather and the swans! ;w; I want to live where she lives. I thought that even before we did the trip, and, I was so happy on the trip that I still feel it. The weather was perfect, cloudy with sun, cool with some warm, and the apartment was just a little bit cold which was so comfortable for sleeping. I could actually curl up in blankets and warm pajamas, and not feel too hot! And I could wear my jackets during the day. I like weather where I can wrap up just a little bit and feel comfortable.
The atmosphere really felt amazing too for some reason. Sometimes, when I am travelling through a place, I have flashes where I see a house in the distance, or the way that the sun lights up the world at just a particular angle, and, I feel like am in the other world I am meant to be in, everything has a filter of magic. It felt like that the whole trip, and, I didn't feel socially stressed hardly at all. So rare for me.
So yes yes, I like San Francisco ♥ And Niya and her amazing room mates, who were so quiet and kind and sweet and give me all the space I could wish for. Even though I was sleeping in the living room, which is their main room of the house, they were so polite and thoughtful about the space! Lovely people.
And now, what you want to see (or, what I would want to see, if it was me... （´・ω・｀）)
The place where it begins. The Palace of Fine Arts, or, if you are me, you might call it, the Palace of Swans.
I saw them in the distance first... the moment of seeing them from so far away, but, knowing I can be closer, was a shock. Finally, in the distance, they are there. This isn't a very impressive photo, but, it captures the feeling of that moment.
Two beautiful mute swans! The first sight that I actually get of them close up, is something like this... They are liking very much to drink from the flowing water pipe. It's like a water fountain for them. It's funny, I like to drink from water fountains too... I prefer to drink from flowing water, it feels better to me. Maybe it's a swan thing. （´・ω・｀）
Close enough to hold and touch... I didn't get to touch the beautiful feathers, I was hoping that food would bring them close, but, they seemed to be eating well because of all the tourists. They seemed more interested in coming close, then, swimming away with a little tail shake, as if they were trying to say, come on then, swim with us! I wished I could. If I was wearing a swimsuit, I would have simply jumped in the water to follow them, no matter how legal it is. Maybe some day, I will return, and then, I absolutely have to do that.
They did eat out of my hand, though! （ ＞ ω ＜ ） Their beaks were so gentle, not biting at all~ I wish I got a picture, but, silly me, I was holding the camera at the time. （´・ω・｀） So, Niya could not take a picture and I didn't have the ability to take it, and feed the swan at the same time. Ehehe.
It was sad to leave them... I want to come here every day. But, eventually we had to go. I feel like the experience was, breathtaking, but, there was so much more that could happen, too. I wanted to swim with them, to touch them and to see them fly. And, I was so shocked just by being near them, that I forgot to even really try to reach to them with my mind. But... I was there with them, and, that will stay in my memory.
We went next to Golden Gate Park, on a rumour that there were swans there, but, didn't see any. ;w; We did see the beautiful Mallard Lake, though (does actually have some mallards):
And, the Stow Lake, which has some nice little doors to other worlds.
Niya decided next to take me to the zoo, for a treat to see this special black swan~~ All ruffles. （ ＞ ω ＜ ）
This swan, I did keep a control of my thoughts enough to try and reach to this swan in my mind. It seemed that this swan was more busy with preening though. （´・ω・｀） The feeling I got, was, "well, if you want to think of your self like a part of our family, that's not a problem with me. *preen preen*" Swans are not very concerned with what people do, I think. Well, it seemed like a natural swan reply, anyway. （´・ω・｀）
The black necked swans also preferred to simply enjoy their swim. This is not a swan most people know about, but, they are really swans! They give birth to little fuzzy grey cygnets like all other swans. There are two that live in the San Francisco Zoo. No cygnets though. ;w; I want to travel in the season when cygnets are just born... though, I don't know if any of these swans are mated pairs. The two on the lake at the Palace of Fine Arts did seem to be affectionate and close to each other, but, I don't see any cygnets either. Maybe, in such a busy tourist place, they don't think it's safe to have children. They are probably right, sadly. ;w;
After the swan trip, we went to Japantown. And, we went to Daiso, which is THE. MOST. AMAZING Japanese dollar store... I bought all kinds of things because it was so cheap, like a new knife for the kitchen because we needed it, and a cute mug, and some duck stationery, and some lace tape for Lea because, I knew she would become so excited over it (she was!)
We were planning to stop at a Thai place to eat, but then, I saw a sushi menu that DESTROYED MY MIND.
They had... avocado nigiri. Most sushi places where I live only have tamago nigiri and fish types, and, I'm trying to cut down on my fish eating and I don't really like tamago nigiri very much. Avocado nigiri... it's like... GOD strapped to the back of a pad of sushi. And, and, they had ume makizushi, which is also not something I normally see.
So that you know, this is plum on the inside. It tastes exactly amazing as you think.
And then... Niya had to become one better. She had to become God Herself, and create a new kind of roll, which the chef cooked for us. Avocado and cream cheese, deep fried and breaded.
There is not other name for it but... the Niya Roll.
It's holy. Worship it.
Oh, here's a funny sign I saw on the end of that day. Hehe. （´・ω・｀）
So, that's the first day. The second, we returned to Japantown, with the promise of choco banana taiyaki.
I normally have just chocolate. This tastes amazing. ;w;
After that, we went on a hike. I'm not a very strong person, but, I can walk a trail if I take it slow. So, we went to the Muir Woods, which begins with this wonderful poster.
(Sorry that even the large one on Flickr is so small that it's hard to read the text... let me know if you want a larger version. Flickr only lets me upload to 1024 wide on a free account m( _ _)m)
We decided to hike the short trail... though, we become a little faerie lost, and we ended up on the longer trail, 4 miles. A lot of up hill.
But, it was worth it. The forest was full of the most amazing faerie sights. All the time, we talked about the faeries, and, I definitely started to see evidence of them around me.
A bird face faerie home.
Faerie mountain.
Tree's hand.
Forest claw.
In the glow, a faerie maybe is seen? Click the picture to see where I mean (it goes to the page on Flickr where I highlight it with a note).
Faerie houses.
Faerie clothes line.
Faerie concert stage.
Swan tree. On every trip since I discover my self, I always see a swan. One was a little stick that I still have, that is shaped perfectly as a swan's head. One was a cloud that makes a perfect swan in the sky. And this, was my forest swan sign, a head rising up from the ground. Can you see the beak?
Faerie garland.
But, this was not the only magic the forest offered me. One time, there was an arch of trees in front of me, and, in that arch, I saw a stag walk from the right side of the trail, into the arch and look at me. But, I know I didn't see it with my eyes. It was not an idea of sight, but, an idea of the mind. I "felt" a stag, the idea of a stag. It was like when I do guided meditation sometimes and, I get the idea that a particular animal comes to me, but, I don't see them, it's more an idea.
Deer are important to me. How they are important, I don't exactly know. I just know that, in certain times, deer have come to me as symbols, but, I don't understand what they mean yet. I just know that deer is close to some part of me, and appears in certain situations.
So, I had an idea of the deer. I thought that I maybe should take a photo of the arch where I saw him, but I didn't... now, I wish I had.
Because, shortly down the trail, this happened.
A physical deer jumped up in front of us, from the right side of the trail. Niya was looking at me at that time, so, she didn't notice the deer. I said, in my quietest voice, "turn around, very quietly". And, then, we all were watching each other.
The deer watched me for a little time, then, jumped up to the left, and went up into the high cliffs.
I really believe that the deer was a forest spirit, kami. That does not mean that the deer was not also a deer. Kami also can be living creature... any creature that acts to bring wonder in the world is kami. Or, as Motoori Norinaga said famously, a kami is:
So, the deer appeared at the time when the spiritual world called her to appear in front of me. But, she is also a creature living her own life. These two are not opposing to each other.
I still don't know what the deer mean to me. But, there is definitely something happening.
And, before I left, the forest had a last, strange piece of magic.
On the forest ground, a photograph. To the forest, it's trash, but, maybe it offered it to me because, it knows I would see it as a beautiful memory of the trip, a physical photo I can hold in my hand, in a world where that is not common any more. At the same time, I can remove it from the forest, and help it to be a cleaner place. "Here, you can do something with this, and, I don't have to have it."
I think I should put it in a scrapbook. A scrapbook that I can begin here, with these wonderful pieces of magic.
And that was my trip. Sorry this was so long, I wanted to include everything important... even then, this is just a small number of things, compared to the whole list of this trip.
I'm going to end this with a song... one that I was listening to on the trip. It's a beautiful sad song about a snow spirit, transformation, and magic.
Young Alexi, proud Alexi
There is magic in the snow!
There is peril in the forest,
Hiding more than you can know!
niya. She was kind enough to take me to San Francisco, so I could see the swans that I have a spiritual longing to be close to.These are the stories that happened on that trip. Or, some of them. I'm sure I forget some, and, others are stories inside stories, that I will tell on my Tumblr under the writing tag. But this, this is the main story as I remember it.
Before the trip, we had Ace Prom with
niya and Lea. (For the people who don't know what Ace Prom is, it was a Tumblr event where asexual, grey-sexual and demisexual people would do things for September 9th, with an asexual theme, and tag it with "ace prom" and post it on Tumblr. We are all some version of asexual or grey-sexual, so, we decided to have it.)We decide that a fun thing to do for Ace Prom would be to make cake, because, cake is a joke in the asexual community. So, Lea made a lovely purple (symbol of asexuality) cake, that was purple inside and out! The rainbow sprinkles are for diversity. And texture. m(^Д^)
It tasted SO GOOD, too. I still have some in the fridge... I wonder if it is still good now....
We also decide that the crows in the park should be part of our prom, so, we went to feed them some cake, from the faeries. Even though we were sitting a far way away, they didn't want to come and eat when we were there, but, I hope they did enjoy it after we left.
On the next day, Niya and I took the drive to San Francisco, and chatted about Irish death ballads, transhumanism, kami, and many other things. The time went by so fast... I was really surprised, because, the drive is 7.5 hours (and, it ended up more like 9 because we did a lot of stops, and the power was out in some towns where we tried to eat and get gas), and normally, I would be so anti-social and grumpy after so much time... but, we were laughing and having fun the whole time. Usually, I only feel like that with Lea, where I just feel free to talk about completely anything and feel so socially relaxed. I have not spend a lot of time with Niya before and I didn't know how we would get along in person on such a long trip, she visited before but only for two days, but... it was wonderful, I really felt free. She's an amazing friend. ♥
She might be moving down here too... which would be nice, but, I can't believe she wants to leave the cool weather and the swans! ;w; I want to live where she lives. I thought that even before we did the trip, and, I was so happy on the trip that I still feel it. The weather was perfect, cloudy with sun, cool with some warm, and the apartment was just a little bit cold which was so comfortable for sleeping. I could actually curl up in blankets and warm pajamas, and not feel too hot! And I could wear my jackets during the day. I like weather where I can wrap up just a little bit and feel comfortable.
The atmosphere really felt amazing too for some reason. Sometimes, when I am travelling through a place, I have flashes where I see a house in the distance, or the way that the sun lights up the world at just a particular angle, and, I feel like am in the other world I am meant to be in, everything has a filter of magic. It felt like that the whole trip, and, I didn't feel socially stressed hardly at all. So rare for me.
So yes yes, I like San Francisco ♥ And Niya and her amazing room mates, who were so quiet and kind and sweet and give me all the space I could wish for. Even though I was sleeping in the living room, which is their main room of the house, they were so polite and thoughtful about the space! Lovely people.
And now, what you want to see (or, what I would want to see, if it was me... （´・ω・｀）)
The place where it begins. The Palace of Fine Arts, or, if you are me, you might call it, the Palace of Swans.
I saw them in the distance first... the moment of seeing them from so far away, but, knowing I can be closer, was a shock. Finally, in the distance, they are there. This isn't a very impressive photo, but, it captures the feeling of that moment.
Two beautiful mute swans! The first sight that I actually get of them close up, is something like this... They are liking very much to drink from the flowing water pipe. It's like a water fountain for them. It's funny, I like to drink from water fountains too... I prefer to drink from flowing water, it feels better to me. Maybe it's a swan thing. （´・ω・｀）
Close enough to hold and touch... I didn't get to touch the beautiful feathers, I was hoping that food would bring them close, but, they seemed to be eating well because of all the tourists. They seemed more interested in coming close, then, swimming away with a little tail shake, as if they were trying to say, come on then, swim with us! I wished I could. If I was wearing a swimsuit, I would have simply jumped in the water to follow them, no matter how legal it is. Maybe some day, I will return, and then, I absolutely have to do that.
They did eat out of my hand, though! （ ＞ ω ＜ ） Their beaks were so gentle, not biting at all~ I wish I got a picture, but, silly me, I was holding the camera at the time. （´・ω・｀） So, Niya could not take a picture and I didn't have the ability to take it, and feed the swan at the same time. Ehehe.
It was sad to leave them... I want to come here every day. But, eventually we had to go. I feel like the experience was, breathtaking, but, there was so much more that could happen, too. I wanted to swim with them, to touch them and to see them fly. And, I was so shocked just by being near them, that I forgot to even really try to reach to them with my mind. But... I was there with them, and, that will stay in my memory.
We went next to Golden Gate Park, on a rumour that there were swans there, but, didn't see any. ;w; We did see the beautiful Mallard Lake, though (does actually have some mallards):
And, the Stow Lake, which has some nice little doors to other worlds.
Niya decided next to take me to the zoo, for a treat to see this special black swan~~ All ruffles. （ ＞ ω ＜ ）
This swan, I did keep a control of my thoughts enough to try and reach to this swan in my mind. It seemed that this swan was more busy with preening though. （´・ω・｀） The feeling I got, was, "well, if you want to think of your self like a part of our family, that's not a problem with me. *preen preen*" Swans are not very concerned with what people do, I think. Well, it seemed like a natural swan reply, anyway. （´・ω・｀）
The black necked swans also preferred to simply enjoy their swim. This is not a swan most people know about, but, they are really swans! They give birth to little fuzzy grey cygnets like all other swans. There are two that live in the San Francisco Zoo. No cygnets though. ;w; I want to travel in the season when cygnets are just born... though, I don't know if any of these swans are mated pairs. The two on the lake at the Palace of Fine Arts did seem to be affectionate and close to each other, but, I don't see any cygnets either. Maybe, in such a busy tourist place, they don't think it's safe to have children. They are probably right, sadly. ;w;
After the swan trip, we went to Japantown. And, we went to Daiso, which is THE. MOST. AMAZING Japanese dollar store... I bought all kinds of things because it was so cheap, like a new knife for the kitchen because we needed it, and a cute mug, and some duck stationery, and some lace tape for Lea because, I knew she would become so excited over it (she was!)
We were planning to stop at a Thai place to eat, but then, I saw a sushi menu that DESTROYED MY MIND.
They had... avocado nigiri. Most sushi places where I live only have tamago nigiri and fish types, and, I'm trying to cut down on my fish eating and I don't really like tamago nigiri very much. Avocado nigiri... it's like... GOD strapped to the back of a pad of sushi. And, and, they had ume makizushi, which is also not something I normally see.
So that you know, this is plum on the inside. It tastes exactly amazing as you think.
And then... Niya had to become one better. She had to become God Herself, and create a new kind of roll, which the chef cooked for us. Avocado and cream cheese, deep fried and breaded.
There is not other name for it but... the Niya Roll.
It's holy. Worship it.
Oh, here's a funny sign I saw on the end of that day. Hehe. （´・ω・｀）
So, that's the first day. The second, we returned to Japantown, with the promise of choco banana taiyaki.
I normally have just chocolate. This tastes amazing. ;w;
After that, we went on a hike. I'm not a very strong person, but, I can walk a trail if I take it slow. So, we went to the Muir Woods, which begins with this wonderful poster.
(Sorry that even the large one on Flickr is so small that it's hard to read the text... let me know if you want a larger version. Flickr only lets me upload to 1024 wide on a free account m( _ _)m)
We decided to hike the short trail... though, we become a little faerie lost, and we ended up on the longer trail, 4 miles. A lot of up hill.
But, it was worth it. The forest was full of the most amazing faerie sights. All the time, we talked about the faeries, and, I definitely started to see evidence of them around me.
A bird face faerie home.
Faerie mountain.
Tree's hand.
Forest claw.
In the glow, a faerie maybe is seen? Click the picture to see where I mean (it goes to the page on Flickr where I highlight it with a note).
Faerie houses.
Faerie clothes line.
Faerie concert stage.
Swan tree. On every trip since I discover my self, I always see a swan. One was a little stick that I still have, that is shaped perfectly as a swan's head. One was a cloud that makes a perfect swan in the sky. And this, was my forest swan sign, a head rising up from the ground. Can you see the beak?
Faerie garland.
But, this was not the only magic the forest offered me. One time, there was an arch of trees in front of me, and, in that arch, I saw a stag walk from the right side of the trail, into the arch and look at me. But, I know I didn't see it with my eyes. It was not an idea of sight, but, an idea of the mind. I "felt" a stag, the idea of a stag. It was like when I do guided meditation sometimes and, I get the idea that a particular animal comes to me, but, I don't see them, it's more an idea.
Deer are important to me. How they are important, I don't exactly know. I just know that, in certain times, deer have come to me as symbols, but, I don't understand what they mean yet. I just know that deer is close to some part of me, and appears in certain situations.
So, I had an idea of the deer. I thought that I maybe should take a photo of the arch where I saw him, but I didn't... now, I wish I had.
Because, shortly down the trail, this happened.
A physical deer jumped up in front of us, from the right side of the trail. Niya was looking at me at that time, so, she didn't notice the deer. I said, in my quietest voice, "turn around, very quietly". And, then, we all were watching each other.
The deer watched me for a little time, then, jumped up to the left, and went up into the high cliffs.
I really believe that the deer was a forest spirit, kami. That does not mean that the deer was not also a deer. Kami also can be living creature... any creature that acts to bring wonder in the world is kami. Or, as Motoori Norinaga said famously, a kami is:
any thing or phenomenon that produces the emotions of fear and awe, with no distinction between good and evil.
So, the deer appeared at the time when the spiritual world called her to appear in front of me. But, she is also a creature living her own life. These two are not opposing to each other.
I still don't know what the deer mean to me. But, there is definitely something happening.
And, before I left, the forest had a last, strange piece of magic.
On the forest ground, a photograph. To the forest, it's trash, but, maybe it offered it to me because, it knows I would see it as a beautiful memory of the trip, a physical photo I can hold in my hand, in a world where that is not common any more. At the same time, I can remove it from the forest, and help it to be a cleaner place. "Here, you can do something with this, and, I don't have to have it."
I think I should put it in a scrapbook. A scrapbook that I can begin here, with these wonderful pieces of magic.
And that was my trip. Sorry this was so long, I wanted to include everything important... even then, this is just a small number of things, compared to the whole list of this trip.
I'm going to end this with a song... one that I was listening to on the trip. It's a beautiful sad song about a snow spirit, transformation, and magic.
Young Alexi, proud Alexi
There is magic in the snow!
There is peril in the forest,
Hiding more than you can know!
