avia: Picture of numbers, shapes, and stars falling in a night sky. (falling numbers)
So, I am thinking that I might start to do a small business type thing, making patches. The kind that you sew on clothes, or, you can pin them on. They are going to have various neurodiversity type statements on, because, I don't see a lot of people making patches/buttons for actual neurodiverse people, more like cure stuff. I also want to make therian/otherkin/non-human ones, and, similar things that not typical people might want.

List of ideas I have, I am accepting more... )

I got some blank patches and, I have some iron-on transfer paper that is left from another project. I also want to put charms, beads, etc. hanging from the bottom, and, I want to do custom versions.

For each patch, what I will need is:

  • blank patch (they cost $1.50 each)
  • transfer paper (I think that for $10, I can get about 10 sheets, cutting them into pieces will give me enough for about 100 patches so, it's 10 cents for each patch)
  • two safety pins for people who want to pin them on (didn't look at the price of this yet)
  • charms and jump rings (I have some jump rings, I don't have charms, the charms will be most expensive. I can probably buy a large box of various beads for not much money, but, for special charms that I want to do, like a paw charm for a therian patch, it will probably be about $2 for each charm)
  • shipping cost (about $2 to America plus enveloves?)

Total: about $2 for regular patch, $4 for special charm patch, $4/$6 with shipping

So, I am trying to think of how to make this make actual money for me. I don't want to charge a lot, but, at the same time, it will be hard for me to make anything if I don't charge at least $5+shipping for the special ones.

My questions to you are:

  • What do you think is a good price for special patches (with charm that matches the patch)?
  • What do you think is a good prince for regular patches (would just have beads)?
  • Do you think it's fair to charge more for patches with different special charms than the regular ones? Or, maybe I should make it all the same price (meaning that the regular ones are more expensive) to make up the cost of the special ones by selling regular ones?
avia: Picture of numbers, shapes, and stars falling in a night sky. (falling numbers)

Inside and Outside Safety (warning from the top of the post: Mentions of violence towards PwD, both external and internal. Passing mention of the R-word and of a cat dying.):

We are told that in order to save ourselves from the violence out there we must do everything we can to look normal out there.

And when we do look normal out there, they pretend that no violence is being done to us. Too often, they forget the violence that they did or dismissed to make us this way. Too often, they will always dismiss that it left us with violence in our heads.

As time goes on I try to unlearn the violence that was taught to me. I try to uproot the strongholds that tell me how wrong and bad it is of me, how selfish, to want to be okay with myself. This process isn’t helped by living in a society that reaffirms that all the bad things are because I’m wrong, I’m deviant, I’m disabled and I dare to try not to hide from it.

Disabled, Not Different (warning: ableism, violence against autistic people, sexual abuse, bullying, use of words "human" and "not human" to describe disabled people):

I could be a manic-pixie-dream-girl, right? That was like the epitome of different, and I was so very, very different. I only wore skirts, and I said strange things and repeated things over and over and scratched patterns out on my skin. Surely I just needed love, friendship, someone to save me who also needed me to save them.

I discovered, though, that manic-pixie-dream-girls don’t bang their heads, and when someone touches them they know how to let themselves be touched. They see the world differently, but it’s an endearing and quirky and acceptable and unremittingly real view, not one that is confused and forgetful and blurred and above all fleeting. They use words differently, but they use the same words as everyone else and they seem to mean the same things.

People like manic-pixie-dream-girls. Some people even like nerds, and gifted students, and kids who spend their Saturdays painting sets.

People didn’t like me.

They were so nice to me, carefully working at smoothing out my edges until I fit into one or another of the acceptable differences they offered me, and I was so ungrateful and selfish and obsessive, not cooperating with any of it.

The second one is a little speciesist, assuming that everyone identifies as human, but, these are amazing in all other ways. I feel like I want to rock with happiness just thinking about how well they say the words I thought so often. How it's only "okay" with society to be different if you are inside a certain narrow limit of "different", acceptably different. How, being forced to act normal when you don't feel normal, to hide your own identity because it is thought as shameful, is abuse.

I needed these essays so much. Thank you, writers.

avia: A girl sitting and holding her knees, in an abandoned house grown over with green things. (green house)
This essay is going to introduce an idea that I really think is important. I talked about it on Tumblr, but, I want to write into a more formal essay too.

Warning: because of the topic of this essay, it may trigger for abuse of autistic children, rape culture/rape, and issues of ignoring a person's boundaries in general, including: boundaries of trans* people, people of colour, women and people choosing to use pseudonyms.

A lot has been said about rape culture, which is a phrase used to describe the ways that the society (usually US society, in the discussions) excuses and contributes to rape, by being a place where victims are often blamed, having double standards for men and women in a sexual way, etc. I don't really feel like I am the best person to describe rape culture: a quick look at the idea is here.

It's interesting, I never looked at that page before, but, at the end, bell hooks is mentioning that that rape culture is in fact part of a larger, "culture of violence". I am going to put a similar theory here, and suggest that what we have in US society in fact, is a larger culture of boundary violation.

Boundary violation, it means not respecting people's personal boundaries, and, creating a culture where "playful" violating those boundaries is normal. Boundary violation culture is about people thinking they have a right to touch you, to have particular kinds of response from you to their words and actions, or to poke into your private life with conversation questions. It's obvious to see where it would be a part of encouraging rape. But, it's not just about rape.

Read more... )
avia: (Default)
I thought I would begin this journal with some essays about autistic people, and the way we are treated in society. As an autistic person, activism about this is a big thing for me, and, one of the reasons to have this journal is to keep all these essays in a more tidy place than Tumblr, but, I thought I might start to write some original ones too.

So, here is one about coping behaviours, and how they are pathologised in autistic people.

Warning: triggers for abuse of autistic children.

Almost everyone has some behaviours that they use to cope with stress. I'm not very familiar with neurotypical ways to cope with stress, but, from reading a lot of books and knowing people who are not autistic, I get the idea that common neurotypical ways to cope with stress are things like:

  • smoking a cigarette, having a small drink of alcohol, or some similar thing
  • going for a run
  • taking a warm bath (I like this one too)
  • watching a movie
  • listening to some music
  • calling or texting your friends
  • playing with an animal
  • punching a pillow


I want you to take a moment, think of the ways that you personally cope with stress. Particularly if you are neurotypical, or, your neurodiversity is not related to the ways you cope. Think of the little things you do to help you get through the day, that are harmless, or, if they do a slight harm (like smoking), it's something you are happy to trade for a little relief from the stressy, busy world. Make a little list on some paper if you like. Don't continue this, until you think about it for just a few moments.

Are you done? Okay.

Read more... )


avia: (Default)
little swan child

May 2013

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