Desert magic, again
Sep. 27th, 2011 09:11 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
aviaI finished The Wood Wife today. It's a very good book, and it does something that made me want to look up the author and read more books by her (I normally choose my books strongly by subject, it's rare that I choose by author because, subject matters so much to me)... it made me feel interested in a subject that I don't normally have interest in.
For me, "personal interests" are the centre of the universe. It is very hard to make me feel connected or moved or like I am doing anything important, with the subject is something I don't have interest in. It's part of being an autistic person, and, it's part of what can make socialising very difficult for me, as well as many things... if I am not doing something connected to my interests, I get bored, and bored feelings become pain, and that drains my energy very quickly. I'm not normally a person who just has fun "being social". It needs to be connected to something I am particularly interested in, or, I need to find a reason to feel interested. Sometimes, being with a person I like can be enough for that, but, it's a rare bond that creates it, and, that bond is also usually based on... interests!
So, to enjoy a book that is not on a personal interest subject, is definitely something that makes me feel I should read the author's other work.
It's not completely true that The Wood Wife is not on a personal interest subject to me. It is about magic, and animal-people, and, they are interesting to me. But, "animal-people" and "magic" exists in a lot of stories, and, it's not always enough to make it interesting, depending on how it is written. Harry Potter has animal-people and magic, and, I don't feel a strong need to read it. It is close enough to my interest that, if a good friend wanted to talk to me about Harry Potter, and what is important to them about it, I would probably enjoy that conversation. But, not close enough to make me want to read the books for my own reason. I probably enjoy it through their eyes, better than I enjoy it in the book.
The reasons that a book would not be interesting to me, even if it has those things, is complicated. But, one reason is that, the "place" is not right. In stories, "place" is very important to me. I want to get lost in the world, and, if that world feels wrong to me, or like I don't belong there, then it is much harder for me to love the book. And, some places seem to reject me on the first touch.
The desert is not a place I usually can work with. I live here, I don't need to get lost in it! But, The Wood Wife managed to make me feel some magic of the desert. It made me feel... like I made friends, and even miss that place. I can feel some of the community, some of the wonder. It's not something that would ever make me leave my forests, but, I feel like I could talk with these people, for a while, and feel included. I feel like I understand it better than a few days ago.
That's the power of stories.
I think, as the book rushed to an ending (and, it did rush a little because of me too, I only had a few days left to return it to the library), I really started to feel caught in it. The feeling of seeing everything fall into place, does not affect me as much as most people, because I don't hold the details of plot well in my mind. But, the magic. I thought that I would find it "not my kind of magic", but, in the end it did capture me. The spirals, the spiral path. Painting on the skin. I loved that part, I wanted to be painted like that too, and walk the spiral path.
(Skin painting is very spiritual to me, something I always want to be part of, as a ritual...)
For me, "personal interests" are the centre of the universe. It is very hard to make me feel connected or moved or like I am doing anything important, with the subject is something I don't have interest in. It's part of being an autistic person, and, it's part of what can make socialising very difficult for me, as well as many things... if I am not doing something connected to my interests, I get bored, and bored feelings become pain, and that drains my energy very quickly. I'm not normally a person who just has fun "being social". It needs to be connected to something I am particularly interested in, or, I need to find a reason to feel interested. Sometimes, being with a person I like can be enough for that, but, it's a rare bond that creates it, and, that bond is also usually based on... interests!
So, to enjoy a book that is not on a personal interest subject, is definitely something that makes me feel I should read the author's other work.
It's not completely true that The Wood Wife is not on a personal interest subject to me. It is about magic, and animal-people, and, they are interesting to me. But, "animal-people" and "magic" exists in a lot of stories, and, it's not always enough to make it interesting, depending on how it is written. Harry Potter has animal-people and magic, and, I don't feel a strong need to read it. It is close enough to my interest that, if a good friend wanted to talk to me about Harry Potter, and what is important to them about it, I would probably enjoy that conversation. But, not close enough to make me want to read the books for my own reason. I probably enjoy it through their eyes, better than I enjoy it in the book.
The reasons that a book would not be interesting to me, even if it has those things, is complicated. But, one reason is that, the "place" is not right. In stories, "place" is very important to me. I want to get lost in the world, and, if that world feels wrong to me, or like I don't belong there, then it is much harder for me to love the book. And, some places seem to reject me on the first touch.
The desert is not a place I usually can work with. I live here, I don't need to get lost in it! But, The Wood Wife managed to make me feel some magic of the desert. It made me feel... like I made friends, and even miss that place. I can feel some of the community, some of the wonder. It's not something that would ever make me leave my forests, but, I feel like I could talk with these people, for a while, and feel included. I feel like I understand it better than a few days ago.
That's the power of stories.
I think, as the book rushed to an ending (and, it did rush a little because of me too, I only had a few days left to return it to the library), I really started to feel caught in it. The feeling of seeing everything fall into place, does not affect me as much as most people, because I don't hold the details of plot well in my mind. But, the magic. I thought that I would find it "not my kind of magic", but, in the end it did capture me. The spirals, the spiral path. Painting on the skin. I loved that part, I wanted to be painted like that too, and walk the spiral path.
(Skin painting is very spiritual to me, something I always want to be part of, as a ritual...)
no subject
Date: 2011-09-28 05:14 am (UTC)Ahaha that quote got long, but I didn't know where to cut it off. Because thisthisthisthisthisthisthisthis. I don't ID as/am not autistic, but this is so much my experience of my life. ...you write a lot of things that resonate with stuff I have felt for a long time but never quite knew how to put into words.
This is also something I have and continue to struggle with, because there is such pressure on society not to be selfish, to think of others, to not be self-centered. But I mean, isn't that what everyone does? Follow their own interests and further their own agenda? (It's also difficult because sometimes I forget other people exist. Um. >___>)
This has like, nothing to do with the majority of your post; I apologize. That's also something I wish I could touch on, because the desert is so dear to me (so are the woods, though, so) but I don't know how to words when it comes to that stuff today, I guess. .___.
no subject
Date: 2011-09-28 05:41 am (UTC)And yeah... I think, in the end, everyone does follow their own interests. They are just good at hiding it, maybe, I think? Or, no, I think it seems more like... their interests are very general and they can find many things interesting, so, the latest movie, etc. is often fun if it's in a general group of "type of movie I like", like action, romance, etc.... I never go to movies because I can't find anything I like enough to sit there for some hours
but I will stay up to 3am to watch a program about my favourite celebrity petting a kitten on Japanese TV.So I think, everyone is selfish but, for some people, it mixes better with the idea that you have to be interested in everyone else's things. For me, that works if I have friends who share my interests, or, they have interests similar that I can become interested in, but... not with most people.
And, not a need to apologise! If you have any thoughts on the desert stuffs later I'm happy to hear it (particularly as a person who has both, that seems to me rare), but, this is also just fine ^v^ I am happy to have this conversation, actually.
no subject
Date: 2011-09-28 02:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-09-28 08:49 pm (UTC)